Monday, May 15, 2006
Love is a thing of a past
Love is a thing of the past.
You often hear people saying that love doesn't bring food on the table, it doesn't hold a roof over your head and it definitely doesn't guarantee you a lifetime of happiness.
Love is a word that gets thrown around so loosely these days. Do people really mean what they say?
I've had a person ask me, "Why is it so hard for you to say it?"
I haven't found the right answer for that question. To me, it's not a matter of saying it but rather who you are saying it to. I love my friends, I love my family and I love the challenges that life brings.
These are things that are already there, they are cast in stone.
However, I'd love for my family to be happy. For my friends to love me back. And I'd definitely love to triumph over life's challenges. These are things that I want above the love that I already have.
You can say that I'm never contented. I think I am too. I can't remember the last time I was, and I don't want to be.
People tell me I've got life going for me. It's not that anything is missing at this present moment. I've gotten what I hoped for, perhaps even more than what my plate can hold. Who am I to complain?
I gave up trying to be less mean to people, to be less bitchy, to be less demanding. I gave up trying because I know that I can't be all those things.
When I do talk to my friends, they stop and listen to me. Some of them wonder where the skepticism is coming from. My life couldn't be that traumatic. I never said it was. I've had great times, fell in and out of love (I think) and met wonderful people along the way. But I've been through things that others my age only learn from watching re-enacted dramas.
I go to school just like the rest, I attend the same classes to learn the same things, but how come I'm not entitled to the same kind of happiness they have. I get envious now and then but I tend to shrug off the feeling by thinking less of others.
Envy is a really bad feeling. It makes one sad and sometime brings tears.
My priorities have changed. Family is first, education is necessary and love is a bonus. A close friend said to me, "You just don't go around looking for it."
I agree. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then it's just not meant to be.People lose hope not because they didn't find the light at the end of the tunnel. They lose hope because they gave up walking towards it. **I found this post during i bloghopping..it really touched my heart..Noeing dat im not alone in this situation..Love comes when u least expected it..
psst..thou it sounds cliche' trust me..it only comes when u don search 4 it..
Jannah ♥
5:18 PM
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